So, the thing I was worried about was that Josh would leave. Because he has been depressed lately, I told him that I loved him, always would, but if he went home today and wants to break it off I would understand and I wouldn't be angry. I apologized that I couldn't keep him happy. I said if he comes to get me after work we will talk and try to go from there, but if he didn't come, I would know that he wanted to break it off.
Needless to say, he came and got me, saying that loving me was greater than anything that happens. And was greater than his sadness. We are working on it, and had a long conversation and crying and trying to figure it out. We are both imperfect, and it hurt to think of him leaving (especially when we could work it out over time), but if it was for the better for him I would let him go. But I am happy he stayed. It may be a rough road, but we will transverse it together.
I got back my second review for Ceramics, still pulling a "B" in the class. I still have a "B" in my Rites of Passage in Chinese Culture class, "B" in Environmental Ethics, a "B" in Archaeology, and a "B" in my Senior Seminar class. Which is good enough for me, though an "A" would be nice. In Ceramics I am kind of lazy, since it is so easy, so I don't try all too hard. Right now we are working on "Dichotomous cubes," which sounds easy. The Final has been issued, which is an interesting thing, I need to play with ideas for that one.
Tonight Josh, two TIUA students, Alexis, Annie and myself are going to have a pumpkin-carving dinner tonight. The TIUA students are making us a dinner, which is nice of them. They like to cook Japanese food when they come over. I think they really miss it. They were SOOO excited that Josh and I have salmon, because they missed eating fish, since they could not have much since coming to the US. We will also vacuum twice so Annie doesn't have a huge allergy attack because of our cats. She loves them but is allergic. In preparation Josh and I spent HOURS cleaning, vacuuming, sweeping, changing linens in the living room and whatnot. Those cats got dander and fur everywhere. She just cannot go in the bedroom, which is now trashed and is still full of cat dander. Which sucks. There will be cider (hot and not), food, pumpkin carving and pumkin seed cooking/eating. It will be fun! :)
I am going to be selling things at a powwow in about a week, and I am nervous because I will have my own booth. I am not used to that. I have a business name for it, am working on making Price Tags and Business Cards. *NERVOUS*
LOVE YA!
~N
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Well, It will be a long day.
On the bright side:
I have a 89% in Environmental Ethics (almost an A), a B in Archaeology, a B in Rites of Passage, a B in my Sr. Sem class (to my knowledge), and a B in Ceramics.
On the not-so-bright side:
There have been a couple of bumps in the road and I am pretty sure that, despite planning wedding stuff, Josh is unhappy. I can't seem to cheer him up despite doing things that usually make him happy. And I was sick last weekend with sniffles and cough, headache. No body aches, no GI, no fever, so I don't think it was H1N1. I took a half dose of nyquil before bed two nights ago and slept clear through halfway through next day. I was still hacking yesterday, but almost everything is gone. I have also done something either incredibly good or incredibly stupid in regards to Josh, and it could end up being a huge mistake, the biggest in my life. Or it will be something that makes me happy and us happy. Everyone is fretting about it even though I won't talk about it. I keep worrying, which is making my headache not go away and makes me feel shaky, stomach icky, and in general not well. I think it is just the worry, though, no chills or fever. I will know the outcome later tonight.
On another bright side:
I am going to be carving pumpkins and having a salmon dinner with two of my TIUA friends. This is their first halloween, so it will be fun! We will even roast the seeds. They are really excited for the fish (they apparently miss fish) and they are excited to be a part of American ritual for Halloween. Haven't heard about a haunted house, but I will be trick-or-treating with S and E, and will go on a field trip before that. More fun! :)
I am sitting in a class where I am trying not to snore I am so bored. I have logged off of facebook because I am getting pestered about my status of "may have made the biggest mistake in her life." The 'her' being myself. So I changed it to 'loves you all. But doesn't want to talk about it." or something like that. It starts with loving everyone and has something about not wanting to talk about it. And getting caffinated. YAY CAFFINE!
Updates later.
~N
I have a 89% in Environmental Ethics (almost an A), a B in Archaeology, a B in Rites of Passage, a B in my Sr. Sem class (to my knowledge), and a B in Ceramics.
On the not-so-bright side:
There have been a couple of bumps in the road and I am pretty sure that, despite planning wedding stuff, Josh is unhappy. I can't seem to cheer him up despite doing things that usually make him happy. And I was sick last weekend with sniffles and cough, headache. No body aches, no GI, no fever, so I don't think it was H1N1. I took a half dose of nyquil before bed two nights ago and slept clear through halfway through next day. I was still hacking yesterday, but almost everything is gone. I have also done something either incredibly good or incredibly stupid in regards to Josh, and it could end up being a huge mistake, the biggest in my life. Or it will be something that makes me happy and us happy. Everyone is fretting about it even though I won't talk about it. I keep worrying, which is making my headache not go away and makes me feel shaky, stomach icky, and in general not well. I think it is just the worry, though, no chills or fever. I will know the outcome later tonight.
On another bright side:
I am going to be carving pumpkins and having a salmon dinner with two of my TIUA friends. This is their first halloween, so it will be fun! We will even roast the seeds. They are really excited for the fish (they apparently miss fish) and they are excited to be a part of American ritual for Halloween. Haven't heard about a haunted house, but I will be trick-or-treating with S and E, and will go on a field trip before that. More fun! :)
I am sitting in a class where I am trying not to snore I am so bored. I have logged off of facebook because I am getting pestered about my status of "may have made the biggest mistake in her life." The 'her' being myself. So I changed it to 'loves you all. But doesn't want to talk about it." or something like that. It starts with loving everyone and has something about not wanting to talk about it. And getting caffinated. YAY CAFFINE!
Updates later.
~N
Friday, October 16, 2009
And life goes on
Sill dying of thesis. Though that is in the figurative sense instead of the literal one.
On that note, about the literal sense, a good friend of mine passed away. Well, committed suicide is really the truth of it. His family came over from Japan, and they let us do a US-Style memorial where people did pretty much what they wanted to memorialize him. I did smudging because I remember that he liked it. Two friends spoke, which was nice. We were all good friends. I almost faltered... I hadn't the chance to do a viewing (because of a participant's meeting that took forever to start) so when I walked by when smudging I saw his face, his favorite hat, and I almost stopped and cried. But that wouldn't work too well, would it? I was also at the beginning of the ceremony.
Alexis is sick with the flu. Which sucks, we are pretty sure it is the dreaded virus of doom the media is so hyped the f*ck up about. She now has soup and tea and juice and vitamin water and a bunch of meds. And a thermometer. We almost got her this funky spongebob one, but decided to not buy it and just tell her about it lest she throw something at us. Like snotty tissues.
Oh well, I am already exposed anyway. Mamma says sleep, fluids, and vitamin C. Then hopefully it won't manifest. It is already on campus and a number of students already have it. Yay.
In brighter news, my cats decidedly love Josh and I. We locked them out of the bedroom last night because they kept running around. So they pawed at the door and preeowed and mewed and whined this morning when they knew we were awake. When we opened the door we were bombarded by cuddles and nuzzles and "PET ME!" type motions. They are also sleeping right next to/on top of Josh and I. Which is hard when they lay on your chest right by your face and you sniff in hairs and wake up. Or lick your nose to death.
I am so far passing my classes. That is good! I am trying not to be entirely tooo stressed. I so far have a "B" in Archaeology, a "B" in my senior sem (to my knowledge), a "B" in Rites of Passage in Chinese Societies, a "B+/A-" in Ceramics, and... well.. I don't know for Ethics. But hopefully it is in the "B" range or above. Which is good, because that means that my constant head-bashing is paying off. Sleep doesn't really exist, I think. Though I strain to achieve a good amount of this mythical stuff.
I just opened the stubborn soda bottle on my own. Yay! I was about to give up. The point where it is almost open is usually when I give up, I think, because I hand it of to Josh or someone else and they open it really easy. Saying someone "loosened it up" is actually usually true, if they tried. Provided they weren't turning the cap the wrong way!
My sister is now married. She jumped ahead of me despite my date being already set. I am admittedly very annoyed and rather miffed at her for this. I also think it is a bad idea because my sister has known this guy for a cumulative of 5 months, lived with him for one month, and broke up with her ex only six months or less ago. I think it is very rushed and that she is not looking before she leaps. I am in the ceremony for her family ceremony (though the marriage is legal now). I am a bridesmaid and am slightly afraid of the dress, which will definitely not flatter my figure.
My own wedding plans have not really progressed. We are looking at possible places the weekend after this weekend, then deciding from there, and deciding on the guest list and who is coming to the Wedding and Reception, and who is just coming to the Reception.
We are thinking a Salmon Bake! If we have the money... and I guess something for people who don't want salmon. ... weirdos. :P Potluck reception?
We haven't picked a theme yet, nor have we picked much of anything else. We chose the save-the-dates!
I also have a name for my Basketry and Beadwork! Picpic tewlikitpe (PITS pits taw-lick-IT-puh). It is in the Nez Perce Language (Niimiipuumt) and means "Cat in the tree." I am commissioning a logo from Annie. She does really nice artwork! :)
To see a sample of her art: http://hyper-crabby.deviantart.com
To see a sample of what I sell: http://picpic-tewlikitpe.deviantart.com (still under construction)
For a sample of my other art: http://s-nightshade.deviantart.com (currently houses all of my work, the basketry and beadwork has yet to be moved to the new account)
YAY!
~N
On that note, about the literal sense, a good friend of mine passed away. Well, committed suicide is really the truth of it. His family came over from Japan, and they let us do a US-Style memorial where people did pretty much what they wanted to memorialize him. I did smudging because I remember that he liked it. Two friends spoke, which was nice. We were all good friends. I almost faltered... I hadn't the chance to do a viewing (because of a participant's meeting that took forever to start) so when I walked by when smudging I saw his face, his favorite hat, and I almost stopped and cried. But that wouldn't work too well, would it? I was also at the beginning of the ceremony.
Alexis is sick with the flu. Which sucks, we are pretty sure it is the dreaded virus of doom the media is so hyped the f*ck up about. She now has soup and tea and juice and vitamin water and a bunch of meds. And a thermometer. We almost got her this funky spongebob one, but decided to not buy it and just tell her about it lest she throw something at us. Like snotty tissues.
Oh well, I am already exposed anyway. Mamma says sleep, fluids, and vitamin C. Then hopefully it won't manifest. It is already on campus and a number of students already have it. Yay.
In brighter news, my cats decidedly love Josh and I. We locked them out of the bedroom last night because they kept running around. So they pawed at the door and preeowed and mewed and whined this morning when they knew we were awake. When we opened the door we were bombarded by cuddles and nuzzles and "PET ME!" type motions. They are also sleeping right next to/on top of Josh and I. Which is hard when they lay on your chest right by your face and you sniff in hairs and wake up. Or lick your nose to death.
I am so far passing my classes. That is good! I am trying not to be entirely tooo stressed. I so far have a "B" in Archaeology, a "B" in my senior sem (to my knowledge), a "B" in Rites of Passage in Chinese Societies, a "B+/A-" in Ceramics, and... well.. I don't know for Ethics. But hopefully it is in the "B" range or above. Which is good, because that means that my constant head-bashing is paying off. Sleep doesn't really exist, I think. Though I strain to achieve a good amount of this mythical stuff.
I just opened the stubborn soda bottle on my own. Yay! I was about to give up. The point where it is almost open is usually when I give up, I think, because I hand it of to Josh or someone else and they open it really easy. Saying someone "loosened it up" is actually usually true, if they tried. Provided they weren't turning the cap the wrong way!
My sister is now married. She jumped ahead of me despite my date being already set. I am admittedly very annoyed and rather miffed at her for this. I also think it is a bad idea because my sister has known this guy for a cumulative of 5 months, lived with him for one month, and broke up with her ex only six months or less ago. I think it is very rushed and that she is not looking before she leaps. I am in the ceremony for her family ceremony (though the marriage is legal now). I am a bridesmaid and am slightly afraid of the dress, which will definitely not flatter my figure.
My own wedding plans have not really progressed. We are looking at possible places the weekend after this weekend, then deciding from there, and deciding on the guest list and who is coming to the Wedding and Reception, and who is just coming to the Reception.
We are thinking a Salmon Bake! If we have the money... and I guess something for people who don't want salmon. ... weirdos. :P Potluck reception?
We haven't picked a theme yet, nor have we picked much of anything else. We chose the save-the-dates!
I also have a name for my Basketry and Beadwork! Picpic tewlikitpe (PITS pits taw-lick-IT-puh). It is in the Nez Perce Language (Niimiipuumt) and means "Cat in the tree." I am commissioning a logo from Annie. She does really nice artwork! :)
To see a sample of her art: http://hyper-crabby.deviantart.com
To see a sample of what I sell: http://picpic-tewlikitpe.deviantart.com (still under construction)
For a sample of my other art: http://s-nightshade.deviantart.com (currently houses all of my work, the basketry and beadwork has yet to be moved to the new account)
YAY!
~N
Thursday, October 8, 2009
*sigh*
It seems like this is just a place to rant sometimes. I had a full, busy weekend. On Thursday I started thesis stuff. On Friday night I had to take S and E to the hospital. We stayed there till 1am, and they admitted E, so we helped out with that for the next 2 days.
I had to do a lot of homework and had to do thesis stuff.
I turned in my take-home test a full 13 hours late. I got my thesis proposal first draft in on time, but it was kind of crappy. I am surprised the prof. thinks it is about B/B- quality. I didn't think so. Still don't.
Josh was taken away Monday night to help build a shed. He wasn't supposed to leave till Tuesday morning, but his dad just up and changed his mind. *ANGER* He was supposed to be back last night, but came home today and the stupid shed STILL isn't done. So he wants to go back. I didn't get to spend good, quality time with him since Thursday, so I am very frustrated that he wants to just go to the meeting (spend about an hour with me or so, no quality time) and then take off again. oirgfjkowihgfdjn!*sigh* and he says that I don't understand the situation...
We were doing better for a while, communicating well and working well together. I know this is just a glitch, but there seems to be friction for the moment. I think we have different priorities. They could build the shed without him, they have the capabilities. He could be going around in Salem to pester jobs and interview instead of climbing a shed to finish a roof. Yes, he would be paid for the roof, but he is also ditching me to do the housework, work, AND do my homework. It is tiring. I know it will be better, but it sucks right now.
I found out today that a foreign exchange friend of me died yesterday. They found him at 11 dead in his apartment. This has been hard and I have been having trouble focusing on things. It was really sudden and no one expected it at all. And so I have just been questioned about a reading in class and I said "I didn't read it, someone died." Yeaaaaaah...
I am going to the Historic Deepwood Estate in Salem to see if we want to use it for the wedding. Inside the house has only 40 people allowed at once for an event. The grounds could have more people. I am hoping they can quote a LOW price, since we don't really have money saved up. *grumblegrumble*
I found out recently that S and E are moving. It makes me sad but we are gonna keep in contact. *go Nikki Facebook and Email stalking powers!* Maybe we can visit if we end up in the area they are moving to.
Thesis is killing me. I am doing thesis stuff so much that I am not hanging out with my friends much at all. This is kind of really sucking. And I am sleepy and tired all the time. I am sleepy now and I still have 5-10 min of class. Zzzzzz.
OH. On the car. It is broken. Sell it for scraps. Need a new car, but I will NOT insure the car if I cannot drive it. (AKA stick shift) I will not budge on this. We can use the car until it dies, can't really break it much more. Don't drive it far because towing bills. Yay... *SARCASM*
EDIT: He is getting the F*CKING Trooper that I DON'T want because I CANNOT drive stick. I refuse to insure the thing, since I cannot drive it comfortably (or at all at the moment). He will need to get a JOB and insure it on HIS OWN. He is getting it because he wants to, and refuses to listen to the fact that I don't want the damn thing AT ALL. *sigh* ((Sorry about all the capslock, I am just REALLY frustrated by this!)) Oh, and it is also broken. Needs a new carberator. Josh is gonna get a scrap carberator off his uncle in Springs. Which may or may not work at all. *numerous explicatives*
Okay, enough ranting. I gotta go!
Much love!
~N
I had to do a lot of homework and had to do thesis stuff.
I turned in my take-home test a full 13 hours late. I got my thesis proposal first draft in on time, but it was kind of crappy. I am surprised the prof. thinks it is about B/B- quality. I didn't think so. Still don't.
Josh was taken away Monday night to help build a shed. He wasn't supposed to leave till Tuesday morning, but his dad just up and changed his mind. *ANGER* He was supposed to be back last night, but came home today and the stupid shed STILL isn't done. So he wants to go back. I didn't get to spend good, quality time with him since Thursday, so I am very frustrated that he wants to just go to the meeting (spend about an hour with me or so, no quality time) and then take off again. oirgfjkowihgfdjn!*sigh* and he says that I don't understand the situation...
We were doing better for a while, communicating well and working well together. I know this is just a glitch, but there seems to be friction for the moment. I think we have different priorities. They could build the shed without him, they have the capabilities. He could be going around in Salem to pester jobs and interview instead of climbing a shed to finish a roof. Yes, he would be paid for the roof, but he is also ditching me to do the housework, work, AND do my homework. It is tiring. I know it will be better, but it sucks right now.
I found out today that a foreign exchange friend of me died yesterday. They found him at 11 dead in his apartment. This has been hard and I have been having trouble focusing on things. It was really sudden and no one expected it at all. And so I have just been questioned about a reading in class and I said "I didn't read it, someone died." Yeaaaaaah...
I am going to the Historic Deepwood Estate in Salem to see if we want to use it for the wedding. Inside the house has only 40 people allowed at once for an event. The grounds could have more people. I am hoping they can quote a LOW price, since we don't really have money saved up. *grumblegrumble*
I found out recently that S and E are moving. It makes me sad but we are gonna keep in contact. *go Nikki Facebook and Email stalking powers!* Maybe we can visit if we end up in the area they are moving to.
Thesis is killing me. I am doing thesis stuff so much that I am not hanging out with my friends much at all. This is kind of really sucking. And I am sleepy and tired all the time. I am sleepy now and I still have 5-10 min of class. Zzzzzz.
OH. On the car. It is broken. Sell it for scraps. Need a new car, but I will NOT insure the car if I cannot drive it. (AKA stick shift) I will not budge on this. We can use the car until it dies, can't really break it much more. Don't drive it far because towing bills. Yay... *SARCASM*
EDIT: He is getting the F*CKING Trooper that I DON'T want because I CANNOT drive stick. I refuse to insure the thing, since I cannot drive it comfortably (or at all at the moment). He will need to get a JOB and insure it on HIS OWN. He is getting it because he wants to, and refuses to listen to the fact that I don't want the damn thing AT ALL. *sigh* ((Sorry about all the capslock, I am just REALLY frustrated by this!)) Oh, and it is also broken. Needs a new carberator. Josh is gonna get a scrap carberator off his uncle in Springs. Which may or may not work at all. *numerous explicatives*
Okay, enough ranting. I gotta go!
Much love!
~N
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