Jumped Blogs!

So, my new blog is Forward! Life awaits.:Onward into life.

http://forwardlifeawaits.blogspot.com

Hope you continue to follow.

Sixty-One and I'm DONE!

Yup, a quaint but unintentional rhyme that I just realized was. Oops. Oh well.

This is the sixty-first (and second to last) post here, the last will be the notification to the one person who stalks me to watch another blog instead of this one. I am thinking of moving to Wordpress. Why? Because it looks shiny and has more sophisticated options.

So, as of last Sunday I am a graduate! I have passed the four years of arduous work for a shiny piece of paper that says I learned shit. The said piece of paper is on my desk in its red leather book. The cap and tassel and Hawk feather are put away safely, and the gown is a crumpled mess waiting to be cleaned and stored away.

All in all it was pretty fun. The speakers were interesting and one (I think was a sociobiologist of sorts) was talking about how there were these hairless apes marching in lines with fabric-wrapped squares stuck on their heads. Made Graduation sound ridiculous, but that is okay. I was told that it really is more for the parents. However, I felt it was kind of for me, too. It marked the end of one chapter (though it is kind of dragging on working at the school and all) and the beginning of my life as an adult.

That last thought thoroughly terrifies me. And to make things better (or worse) I am getting married soon, so I will be taking two HUGE steps into adulthood. I guess having an apartment and having to pay all my own bills was one step, but I had classes as well. I guess caring for two felines is another type of growing up, but they are fuzzy balls of happiness and fun and I don't count them the same as one would count children.

I had a moment that made me sad. My little sister (next one down), EBean, is having a baby in only a few short months. I will be married. The last of the oldest four of us is going to college. Despite the two smallest still being in elementary school, I remember when they were born, not to mention they will soon be taller than me and that is tragically unfair. I blame genetics for this cruel twist of things. They are not yet teens and they come to my brow. Pathetic, really. :(

But. GRADUATION!

Before Graduation I went to Brunch with a huge group of family members. It was a blast. I was given presents, one of which was this wacky pen:

If you smack it, it starts flashing colors. Like those bouncy balls. I was hiding behind my hand because I was laughing too hard. I also got some awesome stuff, like nutella/vanilla swirl spread, and Pomegranite juice concentrate and some candies and a seal set. It was fun!

Then I graduated. No pics of that. But I have post graduation pics. However, I don't want to post those.

So as I mentioned, I work at the school now with a great friend of mine as my coworker. It is nice, but there is this lingering feeling of "this will soon end" and "I have graduated, but it is made unreal by the fact that I am still here." I worked for the school last summer. When it really hit me was when I realized I never registered for classes at the end of this term. Sadness!!

Soon I will post in a new blog (or two, one for professional look the other to mess around), yet to be created because I just haven't done it yet. It will include the post-grad craziness, new job stuff, random musings, cooking and art experiments, wedding stuff, and general fun stuff. (That was lots of stuff, I know.)

Until then, Adieu!

almost the last post

For those who have followed me (that would be the one of you), I am sad to announce this is almost my last post here. I graduate on Sunday from my college Alma Mater. Four years were entirely too short and I cried a lot last night writing sappy "until we meet again" letters to five very special people in my college career.


I don't know if it was covered in my last post, but a lot has happened recently. Last Tuesday (as in the 4th, the day my thesis was due in its entirety) I went to a party for the people in my major at my Adviser's house. It was a lot of fun and began with me arriving to help two professors carry in two large ice chests full of beer (one had 1/2 soft drinks). There were a cumulative four bottles of wine. Oh, and someone brought a huge thing of Gin (I think a professor!) so there were gin and tonics... and some other alcohol I couldn't pronounce but am guessing by the square bottle and multiple dares to drink it that the liquid was hard liquor. So I spent a few hours joking and conversing with my fellow soon-to-be-EES-graduates and professors for a while. I also tasted a really good recipe I am going to have to try: sautee chopped onion, add corn and fry, add smoked salmon and fry, add rice, fry a bit longer, season to taste. It had a bit too much pepper for my taste, so I would scale it down. But it sounds like a fun thing to try to cook.

Thesis is in. Environmental Chemistry quizzes are caught up and final paper is in. Medieval Intellectual History paper on Dante's Paradisio is in. I am completely done and have a few days to chill out till Graduation. And

Monday promptly thereafter I go to work.  I am assured full time work through the summer, and I can work at the school until the first day of the next school year. After that, however, I definitely need a job job. Like a career job. I already told my summer boss that he was a jumping point and that I would leave when I had a full-time job at an other company. He was completely understanding! I am excited.

As I said, I graduate on Sunday. I have Senior Soiree (a party WU puts on) tonight, then tomorrow (I think) a final party with the friends. Saturday I kind of chill out and hang around, no big plans for Saturday. I think I'll go to the market. It is really fun. Sunday my family comes and we have brunch at a really good restaurant in town. Then I line up at 1:45 for my 3pm Graduation! A friend's dad arranged a party for us afterward, so I will be attending that. I am really excited!

Unfortunately that puts me in a frenzy to clean my thesis-caused-neglected house.  : (

There is much to do and now less time to do it in. BTW, this is my 60th post.

~N

In which I am a poorly educated Progressive who wants to destroy all rights and is the stupidest thing heard on the internet

BEWARE: Long, LOng, LONG conversation with potentially anger-inflaming points of view and conversation. Proceed at your own intellectual risk.
 
So, this is my lovely, flame-causing discussion I had on an anonymous networking site that has become horribly popular lately as the alternative to the space around me about the United States of America. For those who are not friends of the starter of this, I have decided to post it here.

This was started by my friend, whom I will call A for the purpose of this post. (Names have been ommitted for privacy's sake, but the conversation was posted online, so I feel it is fair game.)

A: Mexican Army regularly invades the United States, firing on Americans and holding peace officers at bay! Man I'm not happy! If Obama wants these jerks as American citizens, he can start a war and just conquer them! ((The initial comment that just begged response!))



Me:

A few bad apples can ruin the cider, but not all apples are bad, correct?

Perhaps both sides of the issue need discussed as well, what did you (we, the US) do to piss them off? Unfair treatment? Looking the other way for drug cartels but not those who want to actually come and work? Who do you know who is an immigrant who has benefited your life? Are the peace officers actually being peaceful? Were these people fired upon first? Was there indecency on the part of the US? Few arguments are truly random.

Another question: Would you pass the test? Most American citizens cannot pass the citizenship test.

And WAR doesn't prove who is right, it proves who is left. Perhaps the US needs to be fought and conquered.

And perhaps we just need to learn to look past differences, abolish the country systems, and go back to being our own bands of people.

Or we just need to learn to get along. No?

 

M: Me too! Where do we draw that line without 'insulting those illegals!!!!' GEez!!!!!!!!!!




A: @ Nikki - Thank you hon, I appreciate the good hearted ideal that you are presenting, and I would enjoy simply talking this issue out. That is the issue however, talking and not stepping forward, there needs to be action as well as talk. Arizona has moved into the action stage, and in that they need our support, however we should never stop talking. Many of America's greatest advances have risen out of compromise, which stems from communication. This may again be talked-out and changes may be made, however we all, as American citizens, need to understand that there has already been an effusion of blood. American blood, and Mexican blood, and those who will shed blood cannot always be turned with words, sometimes we must prosecute our argument with lead. For angry or mislead men will not be easily swayed with words, they may not hear our words, they certainly do not respect our words - if they respected our words, they would respect our laws, and respect our rights as Americans.

Illegal aliens in this country do not enjoy our rights, they do not have a right to free speech, nor a speedy trial, they have no protections under our laws, nor should they. The first thing that an illegal alien does by entering our country is to steal, steal into our prosperity, disregarding our laws - which would welcome him with open arms were he to but ask for entrance and citizenship. Today's immigration laws, have at their base, more holes for those who do not have a law-abiding countenance, to slip through than ever before. There is an arrogance in our opposition, that because they are here, on our soil, they deserve the same rights that my father served to protect - this is not the case. These rights, given by God, and framed in the Constitution, are for those who are humble enough to ask for them, and strong enough to stand up and defend those rights - in whatever form that defense takes. This is not a time to shy away from our duty, or to marginalize our position with pretty words, but a time to stand with our fellow Americans and say "Enough!". American communities and citizens are being destroyed, this must not be allowed to continue unabated, we must unfortunately answer the violence and lawlessness in a language that our foe understands. Americans are a tolerant people, however we have been pushed aside, and now someone will have to answer to that transgression, and they may have to answer with their life - should they decide not to listen to our words.

D:

A said it earlier Niki - Illegal is not Race. If they are entering the U.S. Illegally it is a crime. Criminal activity should be punished not Rewarded. Despite the lies the Lamestream Media tells us. Illegal means Crime and Criminals need to be punished. CLEAR?

If entry is made legally = not a crime = no punishment!! Really it is a simple concept.

As far as your comment about the U.S. needing to be Conquered. You obviously are in need of Big Government telling you what to think. That is the most idiotic thing I have read on the Internet. We Americans don't think like that. We Americans (REAL AMERICANS) are indepentant minded; Pioneers willing to take risks to succeed and are most definately not in need of Big Government telling us what to say or think. REAL AMERICANS WILL FIGHT TO THE LAST BREATH TO PROTECT OUR CONSTITUTIONAL FREEDOMS AND DAMM SURE WOULD NOT LET THE U.S.A. GET CONQUERED!!!!!!!!

HONOR BOUND TO DEFEND FREEDOM 

((NOTE: extraneous punctuation and all in capslock. And apparently I am not a "real American."))

S: Wow @ Niki. We are a nation of laws. Like D said. My hispanic family immigrated here and followed the rules to become citizens.

And what did we do to piss them off? Wow. How about they stay in Mexico if we piss them off? We had issues in Miami for a while. And it definitely wasn't a race thing...because the hispanics that live in this city as legal citizens resent illegal immigrants more than nonhispanics. As far as taking the test...I would love for everyone to have to take a test just to vote!

I would love to also be able to go to Home Depot and not get harassed by these people who have no respect for our customs and laws. They are the ones indecent. To stop the harassment, I bought an INS hat and instead of crudely hitting on me, they walk the other way.

And I know people who work on the border and you should probably seek one out and ask what it is like. And yes, let's let the US be conquered. Maybe the Mexican people can do a better job here...seriously, Mexico is such a safe and peaceful nation. Not!

Me: ((Warning, this had to be posted in two posts of response))

Bear with me, this will be long.

Whereas you all have good and perfectly valid points, it seems you misconstrue my intent. The intent was to raise conversation, not to draw fire for proposing ideas that half of which I know are ridiculous.

The nation of laws was not built on God-given rights, but the rights of those who came across the ocean, killed thousands of indigenous peoples, and said they were God-given so they could not be contested, for few will risk heresy to argue that the rights are not God-given. The laws are also dangerous, and not the will of the people in some cases. The Constitution was based on a race of people that they thought were savage, and not God's people in the slightest, the Iroquois Nation. The founding fathers held so dear are murderous white aristocratic men that felt no remorse in killing thousands of individuals (indigenous peoples, those of African descent, etc), and demeaning and enslaving women just to get what they want. And you know what? They themselves were illegal immigrants.

I do wish people needed to know enough to actually vote and take a stand for the US, and have to be able to prove it. But then the government cannot hoodwink people and thus the gov't would not like it unless it restricted the pool to only those 'desirables' that follow that the government itself desires. Also remember: the history books are written by the winners.

Independent minded people will take the laws that are held so dear and think about them, raise questions, and be willing to tear them to shreds in order to look at the validity of any argument.

I don't work on the border. I know I needed a birth certificate taken with me when I was a baby visiting Mexico so the border control would realize my folks weren't smuggling Mexican babies when we came back. I know that 'zealots' will cause all sorts of lead-slinging trouble, but does violence answering violence actually stop the issue? I am not dishonoring the brave people trying to maintain what they were raised to believe. But there is no safe and peaceful nation in Western society. And I don't think many in Eastern societies exist either.

The US is just as fallible as Mexico is. We aren't the most amazing group of people in the world. We commit crimes against other countries all the time. We also have no right to impose our "right way" on others, because perhaps we are not right.

One thing that makes a discussion difficult online is that people can imply whatever tone they wish and it may completely different. People also read these comments with their own preconceived notions, and few will back down from what they themselves believe. There is more people interpreting from their own ideas than clarifying what the other person meant. As I am sure I am absolutely guilty of here.

There are also issues of semantics and point of view. I may say that the US was slaughtering millions in another country to force our ideals on them, another may say the US was defending its ideals and rights while saving another nation. In both cases millions may be dead, but one reason is more accepted than another. Language is a funny thing, isn't it? Especially when we cannot actually know the others' body language and tone.

By the way, feel free to fire on me, flame me, and point out other things you think are faulty in my logic. I enjoy these types of discussions because only after stripping away everything, after questioning and poking holes in arguments, after questioning our own values and why they are important will we be able to actually understand ourselves and be able to focus more clearly on what lies before us and what must be done. I will be pleased to continue this hot discussion, if people would like to take it to the messages and off of A's status.

A, everyone else, thank you for listening and I look forward to your judgement. You have been very patient if you have read all of this.

I-kush-iwa.  ((Translation from Native: "The way it is"))

 

T: Right on, S. I got to grow up with freedom-loving Cubanos that weren't looking for a handout. They added to FL, didn't subtract from it. No comparison with what the Southwest is facing.     

When it came time to form this country, there were many that wanted all people free. If you sat down and actually read the federalist papers, there was a deep shame on some that that and other issues couldn't be won. It is also ridiculous to say what you did about our founding fathers. After reading them and studying their words, they framed "rights" perfectly. IT is very clear when nonproperty holders and black men were allowed to vote....it wasn't a right to give, it was the denial to vote that was removed. They set up our laws for these things to happen.

What is so offensive to ask for people to follow our rules? Seriously, what? When I visited Egypt, I covered my bare naked arms in the heat, because their culture didn't approve. Big woop! It is called respect! And LOL, try to go work in Mexico like they do here. It is unbelievable that many don't see the hypocrisy or decry there very strict rules regarding immigration and outright murder of those coming up from the south of their country. As for profiling...shoot, I have med look and 50% of the time I get "randomly" pulled aside by TSA. I let them do my thing, show my passport, thank them for doing their job and move on.

And my opinion of the US is far from yours. I think we are a great country. One of the reason many try to get in. And many who do so with the intention of becoming a true citizen, embrace our values, and are typically more patriotic. I feel immense pride when looking at all the memorials all over Europe showing gratitude because we went and spread our "ideals". I'm sure somewhere out there, there is much gratitude for our intelligence uncovering very unsavory plots...I have one who goes to my church and our country and our "ideals" are working on a worldwide sting concerning child trafficking, child molestation, and child sacrifices.

I love visiting the church in St Augustine where my Minorcan ancestors found against the chains of slavery and were considered original founders of that city. There is this statue that honors them and two of the names are from my family. I can spend hours in DC. Our history is rich and while there were a few flawed people, flawed decisions, we always righted things. Read Flyboys, it gives an excellent breakdown where America was wrong in following Great Briton's ambitions of colonizing the world. Did it erase my feelings of love and respect for my country, no!

As an independent minded person, I choose to read a lot. I choose to ask questions. I can handle fair questions and criticism about this country. I've worked with foreigners and respect their criticism. It is always interesting when I hear them comment that America wears her issues on her sleeve. They were actually shocked at the lack of hatred and racism we are portrayed as having compared to what they hear. Many would do anything to come here permanently.

BTW, I was in Phoenix the week ICE did their huge sting. They seemed to know who they were going after. It wasn't random like people think. They do not have that manpower. A lot of the tips come from fed up citizens who pay taxes and/or have been victims. 

D: Nikki true the Europeans who came over believed they were better than everyone else and committed some attrocities. If you however read the text of the constitution you will realize the First European Americans were briliant. Though they mis-interpreted their own words. OUR GOD-GIVEN rights aply to all Humans who are citizens of the U.S.A.

Yes atrocities were committed. No denial. We do not have a clean History. But, we are still the most free Nation in the World. That is for now, since you and the rest of the Progressives would change that. The more power the Federal Government Takes the Less Civil Rights we Citizens will have. Arizona is just exercising it's Constitutional Right to defend it's own citizens. The States have rights too. Part of that document you apparently have not read; Nikki.

HONOR BOUND TO DEFEND FREEDOM  

Me: Hmm... "In the messages" didn't happen very well.

To address the issues, yes, our forefathers and foremothers did amazing things. I also do know that states have MORE power than the federal government the way our nation was set up. I know the citizen has more power than she or he realizes and that a state can overrule a federal law or ruling within their own state. I have not read the constitution or amendments in a few years, admittedly. That was almost four years ago in High School.

I admittedly never have been told America wears her issues on her sleeves. I do know how little regard some countries have for us, unfortunately, and how our ideals and legal systems have fallen in other countries to more ruin and caused more strife. There have also been places where it succeeds, yes, but the places it failed go largely ignored. And we have made some great enemies with our 'ideals'.

As for being a Progressive, I guess I am. However, I don't think the Federal Gov't should have more power. If anything it should have far less. I don't think we should be more restricted and in fact am very against restrictive legislature on who can live where, who can marry whom, and such issues. Pray, don't lump me in with Progressive people who think that we need more restrictions.

I would, however, like to see a drastic change in system. It is rather well crafted and was well-intended: to escape what existed in Europe. However, there are systemic issues that could use resolve and improvement. As in any system. There are no perfect systems and it is very arrogant to say ours is so amazing that it doesn't need drastic reform. Isn't this why Andrew posts such difficult, little-known, hushed-hushed, incredulously-met and very outrageous issues (supposedly, I always thought them interesting to think on) in his statuses and updates? We are still a baby nation and as such need to be able to grow and change. 300 years is still very young.

Yes, we are more free than other countries. Freedom is also contingent on restrictions. The more restrictions exist in society, the more 'freedom' can be had by having fewer than somebody else. Before there were such restrictions, there were no thoughts of what freedom was. We were all 'free'.

i-kush-iwa.

I understand all of your points. I also understand a bit more by them about each of you. Perhaps this conversation could be taken elsewhere, however, as this status is just that, and not a discussion board.

Thank you all for your patience and I would love to continue this in a discussion board or in the messages.

T: Nikki, read the Constitution again. Public schools do a horrible job of studying it. I would suggest you visit the Heritage Foundation website. 

Me: T, thank you for the suggestion. I would love to discuss my all-girls Catholic College Preparatory School education and the website with you in a message at a later time.

There are many MANY things wrong with this. To start.... I wonder if they have read the Constitution and if they know how much of their own interpretation they are reading into it.  Since when is having an opinion being "Progressive"? And since when did having not read the constitution in very long made my education a horrible public school one? And why does thinking the US drastically needs reformed (and possibly taken over so they remember humility and what they actually stand for) make me want to destroy all rights? And how am I the stupidest thing heard on the internet? More intelligent people would know better. Also, who is funding that website?

Oh, so afterwards, this became my status on the unnamed book of online faces:

is apparently a progressive who wants to eliminate all freedom, according to a person with whom I was discussing the US. Too bad language, tone, and understanding kind of fail on the intenet.... in other news, yesterday turned out pretty okay....-----> AND I have a question: Who fears the turning in of theses more? The... students or the professors who have to read them all and grade them?<------

 And these are the responses

 A (from the initial conversation):  Students, definately. And I know you're not progressive, that was an inapporiate comment by someone who does not know anything about you or your family! Don't take FB personally.

Me:

Oh, I wasn't taking it personally in the least. I was highly amused.

I know that I am definitely younger than most of the people discussing that item, and am definitely only a university student still. I guess they were upset that an American doesn't like how the American system is running. I found it quite stimulating conversation, unfortunately I read some definite anger in some of the comments and a sense of "flaming" my opinions. However, as I stated, that is in my interpretation not necessarily their words. I was definitely calm and in discussion-mode when all of my comments were typed.

Sorry it took over your status, A! At least it is an interesting conversation, no?

A: Lots of fun! And thanks for your contributions, we need differing opinions to teach us tolerance, as the Lord taught us!

Me:

That reminds me of what happened at a retreat.

An elder told me "You are so outspoken!" I felt bad and apologized, but then he said, "No, thank you! We need people to be outspoken in the world to say 'what about this?' or 'Well, how about that?' Keep it up."

That really surprised me. Many people are frustrated when I am outspoken and look down on the personality trait as a grievous flaw.

Glad you enjoyed the conversation. :)

C (not part of the original conversation): That's OK, Nikki... I enjoyed the conversation immensely. And I believe that it's VERY American to question the Status Quo, and to question other people's opinion. The art of debating and arguing (in the true sense of ARGUING a topic) is a lost art.
People get too hung up on a certain belief and think that, just because you bring up a differing view, you are challenging them or belittling them. Obviously, you have re-discovered that art, and know the difference between an argument/debate and a conflicted/aggressive stance. Congrats on that. I love you and keep it up. I am more than willing to argue and debate with you on many different topics any time, and always with respect and love in my heart, no matter how much we might disagree. 

Me: Thank you Mama C! :)

Thank you both for understanding. I am finding outside of my CLA bubble people find me too aggressive, too outspoken, and VERY opinionated. I am glad that some people can see past that very abrupt impression and see that I am just curious and wanna debate/discuss things.

I thoroughly blame and thank my professors for that, who told me to question everything, even what they say. (But it is hard to question questioning everything... gets tiring.) Especially the Prof. who told me that we need to tear everything apart, bare our core values and discover WHY we value them, see if then we still value them, and be prepared to be torn to shreds in order to actually understand and truly discuss anything. However, if you understand fully what you believe and why, I guess you never really get torn to shreds, do you? 

So this is where you get confused, I bet. Okay, not everything happened in a linear fashion. The coming status happened right after T's comment, the other status was posted about 8 to 9 hours before amidst the conversation. 

So my following status was this: 

Oh, this is hilarious. Now I am a poorly educated student for my horrible "public school" education. Haahaa. These people are hoots! :) ---> And has a terrible desire for sushi. <-----

 And was followed by these amazing responses:

Xis:

...I don't think those people know what Progressivism is. And I'm not entirely convinced they've really read the Constitution. (( I know you will read this, Xis, and figured you won't care.))

EBean: hey HEY!!! [Mamma C] makes sushi!

So this has been an eventful last few days, with this conversation and the other troubles and woes that effect young adults finishing college. More on college and thesis later. I have wasted too much time on this already.

DISCLAIMER: The commentary in parentheses on the quotes are my own opinions, which may absolutely be contested and argued (which sounds fun). Please read the comments without the obvious slant of my own interpretation (aka, that they were not arguing properly but being defensive and unopen to actual discussion of personal values without feeling attacked). I also have laughed many times about this and am eager to see what you think. THIS IS MY OPINIONATED PIECE, pursue with cautious opinionated-ness of your own.

Two weeks... continued

Okay, so last time wasn't actually two weeks. It is two weeks from TODAY! Oh my effing gawd! I am so nervous and freaked out that I managed to make my stomach condition return. That sucks big-time. It makes it difficult to concentrate. So does the fact that I have little direction in my life. I mean, graduate. Get married. I don't have a job post-graduation, nor do I really have too many prospects. I have been trying too hard just to graduate with my pathetic mental, emotional and physical health. Ugh!

Doesn't help that my friends seem to have direction. So much is uncertain right now... and it is harder since there isn't much I can do, I am so stuck focusing on making enough money to get by that I am slipping in school. And slipping in school means I shouldn't work so much and I should focus on my studies so I can actually graduate. UGH.

Oh well. I have to get back to my thesis and other shit that needs done. Pardon the explicative.

~N

Less than three weeks.

I have less than three weeks until my thesis has to be completed and in. I have been working on it like mad and am still very dissatisfied. Unfortunately, things have not gone according to plan. Plans were set with the idea that the fiance would be working. He hasn't been. Like... at all. It is very frustrating, since I cannot focus on my thesis at work and have to work when I am not in class just to get barely enough money to scrape by.

In other news, my bridesmaids have placed the orders for their dresses, and we are getting ideas together for the rest of the attire. I have sadly lost a bridesmaid due to occupational moving. She has a job in Japan and the company flies her over there. Unfortunately they are flying her out on the 24th with the rest of the big-city groups instead of the 1st when all the smaller cities fly over. Her orientation is the day of my wedding... well, the date of, which is actually a day before due to time changes and all. Very confusing.

So far I have thesis, Envr Chem and MIH. Envr Chem I have a medical incomplete to let me finish it slightly after the rest of the class does. And my chronic lack of good health (due to stress, according to the NP) has led me to be woefully behind in two classes and the one good class is actually history, which tends to be one of my worst subjects. I am good at this class for some reason, though. Especially since there are no quizzes and no dates to remember! : )

Thesis is happening, though annoying. I am working on sections that need severe help and improving them. I am also re-writing sections lost when I brain-glitched and forgot to save after writing them. *sigh* 2am is a horrid time to be writing about things, especially since I have not gotten all of my interviews. Which sucks.

I am also struck by melancholy time to time realizing that everyone seems to have a plan after graduation, and have either already secured good jobs or have gotten into a grad school. I have nothing, because I have been working on my thesis, my chem, my history, or my three jobs. I am always tired and exhausted, and am a rather sickly child the past two years.

Back to thesis. I will focus on that first, then other things... like my wedding. And a job.

~Nikki

General life update

Spring break was busy. The first weekend was the Northwest Indian Storytellers Association (NISA) retreat, therein I did a number of my interviews for my thesis, but am still missing half of them! Very unfortunate considering I have three weeks left!

I went last weekend to my first anime convention ever. I went to Sakuracon in Seattle, WA. I caught a cold and gave myself a slight concussion the day before (or was it the day before that?). My brain has not worked very well since, and the cold became bronchitis, which made me miss three days of class and work and has aggravated the head injury.

The class I am failing has given me reprieve! I am going to finish coursework late, then I will be able to graduate and still get things done. All I need is to pass, I don't care about "A"s and "B"s in this class. I just want to pass.

I am focusing on my Thesis instead of the paper in chem, that way I actually graduate. MIH is going okay, I just need to be able to argue my case well in my paper without the notes from class. The Zombie Plague is going around WU, wherein everyone seems to be sick and is either absent or lacking braincells.

I have actually sold something on my website http://picpictewlikitpe.etsy.com. This really excites me!! :) I was starting to think I would never sell anything. Now I need to rephotograph some items, then post them and post new items.

Countdowns:
Thesis Presentation (aka all info done) - 2 weeks
Thesis FINAL draft due - 3.5 weeks
Till Commencement - 5.5 Weeks
Till Wedding - 3.75 months

Wedding updates:
[X] Find the guy, get in a relationship with him
[X] Get engaged (ask him if he takes too long)
[X] Pick a date
[X] Pick a place
[X] Pick bridesmaids/maid of honor (opted out of maid of honor)
[X] Pick groomsmen/best man (opted out of best man)
[X] Pick Flower girl
[ ] Pick ring bearer(s)
[X] Pick theme and colours
[X] Decide on Guest List (need to double-check)
[X] Save-the-dates
[ ] Pick decour
[ ] Send Invites and RSVPs
[/] Pick food, cake, etc.
[X] Dress
[ ] Everyone else in the wedding party's clothes Ideas on Facebook
[X] Get $ and plan for honeymoon
[ ] Plan the ceremony (writing our own)
[ ] Get married
[ ] Have a reception
[ ] go on honeymoon
[ ] Make sure everyone realizes a marriage is a gift from Him between two souls and a paper doesn't mean anything, but now we have one anyway. A wedding does not equate to a marriage.
[ ] Come back
[ ] Resume life

POWWOW IS TOMORROW!

That is my life.

I stepped down from my NAEA presidency yesterday, which made me sad. I will train my interim President while I work on my thesis.

Thesis has consumed me. And my other classes, but mostly thesis.

I have a lot to do!

POWWOW IS TOMORROW! And despite all the work I am stoked. More interesting things will come later when I am not braindead or hyperventilating.

Weather, wtf?

So, the weather has been nice, temperate, and mostly warm lately. I sadly missed the one day of real sunshine due to homework and laundry, but it has been great! 

Now the weather has turned cold. My lady mother and my lord father have been beset by snow! It has gotten really cold here, too, and I fear frost and ice in the morning. A chill wind decided to blow down the valley and rather annoys me. I was hoping for nice weather, especially since it is Powwow on Saturday! I fear the weather will be sour and my last powwow at WU will be forever remembered as rainy and really cold. A repeat of last year, I think, but perhaps wishful thinking can make the weather turn out how I wish. After weather in the low 70s, upper 60s, the weather being below 50 again is sad. 

Today's forecast for Saturday: Chance Of Showers, Hi: 53°, Mostly cloudy with a chance of showers. Highs 50 to 55.... I want at least 65-70 and partly cloudy. *Wishful thinking*

Not gonna do the countdowns today. They are all one day less.

EDIT: After looking closer at the weather site, a Special Weather Bulletin: possible snow/rain mix tonight all the way down to at least 500 feet (it says lowest elevations). Snow level proper is 1000 feet, snow into tomorrow morning. Funfun. (This is just looking at where WU is located.)

POWWOW and other things

I would like to start by saying that my favourite WU event is happening this Saturday: Powwow! I will be simultaneously working it and having a booth to potentially sell things. I am excited.

What I am not excited about are all the things I need to get done, not to mention the fact that a professor has pulled an Academic Alert on me because I have missed a good deal of class, thanks to the stomach issue listed earlier. BTW, it is a stress-induced issue and being sick makes me more stressed makes me more ill.... etc. Oh, an Academic Alert means that they will keep an eye on me to make sure I can graduate, aka "we think you might fail" or something like that. If I do, this will suck...

Countdowns:
Till WU's Powwow - five days
Thesis 2nd draft due (aka all interviews done and analyzed) - 3 weeks
Thesis Presentation (aka all info done) - 5 weeks
Thesis FINAL draft due - 8 weeks
Till Commencement - about 11 Weeks (about 2 months)
Till Wedding - 5 months

Wedding updates:
[X] Find the guy, get in a relationship with him
[X] Get engaged (ask him if he takes too long)
[X] Pick a date
[X] Pick a place
[X] Pick bridesmaids/maid of honor (opted out of maid of honor)
[X] Pick groomsmen/best man (opted out of best man)
[X] Pick Flower girl
[ ] Pick ring bearer(s)
[X] Pick theme and colours
[X] Decide on Guest List (need to double-check)
[X] Save-the-dates
[ ] Pick decour
[ ] Send Invites and RSVPs
[X] Pick food, cake, etc.
[X] Dress
[/] Everyone else in the wedding party's clothes bridesmaids are dressed, groomsmen and groom are not
[X] Get $ and plan for honeymoon
[ ] Plan the ceremony (writing our own)
[ ] Get married
[ ] Have a reception
[ ] go on honeymoon
[ ] Make sure everyone realizes a marriage is a gift from Him between two souls and a paper doesn't mean anything, but now we have one anyway. A wedding does not equate to a marriage.
[ ] Come back
[ ] Resume life 

Holy. Crud.

So I just realized: three weeks till Spring Break.

I lack the interviews for my thesis. *Beats head on desk* This is partly due to apathy, and partly due to the fact that I am so drained and tired that I wanna curl up in a little ball and sleep the year away.

But on a different note: culture night was fine. I ended up overtaxing myself, though, which sucked afterwards. Didn't sell anything, but I didn't expect to. Otherwise things have been okay. I think.

I have been inspired lately to actually work on my thesis, which is good. Bad thing is that it constantly gets bumped aside by the fact I have two weeks to do new work to sell before Powwow. Crud. And Powwow is THE big NAEA event. (NAEA = Native American Enlightenment Association, the Native club on campus of which I am the president.)

COUNTDOWN TIME: and weeks go by FAST!

Countdowns:
Till WU's Powwow - Two weeks
Thesis 2nd draft due (aka all interviews done and analyzed) - 4 weeks
Thesis Presentation (aka all info done) - 6 weeks
Thesis FINAL draft due - 9 weeks
Till Commencement - about 12 Weeks (about 3 months)
Till Wedding - 5.25 months

Wedding updates:
[X] Find the guy, get in a relationship with him
[X] Get engaged (ask him if he takes too long)
[X] Pick a date
[X] Pick a place
[X] Pick bridesmaids/maid of honor (opted out of maid of honor)
[X] Pick groomsmen/best man (opted out of best man)
[X] Pick Flower girl
[ ] Pick ring bearer(s)
[X] Pick theme and colours
[X] Decide on Guest List (need to double-check)
[X] Save-the-dates
[ ] Pick decour
[ ] Send Invites and RSVPs
[/] Pick food, cake, etc.
[X] Dress
[ ] Everyone else in the wedding party's clothes Ideas on Facebook
[X] Get $ and plan for honeymoon
[ ] Plan the ceremony (writing our own)
[ ] Get married
[ ] Have a reception
[ ] go on honeymoon
[ ] Make sure everyone realizes a marriage is a gift from Him between two souls and a paper doesn't mean anything, but now we have one anyway. A wedding does not equate to a marriage.
[ ] Come back
[ ] Resume life

I Hate Dress Shopping

I am 5'3" and I am a size 22. Most of this is from medication that causes weight gain, three years of bad and greasy foods at the cafeteria, and sitting on my butt all day for the past four years (college, you know). However, because I am getting married this summer and for general health I am trying to change my lifestyle and loose weight.  But the fact of the matter is that most dresses that I think are cute are definitely not in my size and I dislike most of the ones that come in my size. Tragedy.  Thus  I hate dress shopping.

And because I hate dress shopping I have taken time from my normally scheduled basketry and studies to make one. It costs less, which is always nice, and it will be made to my liking and size without the embarrassment of the "big girl" issue.

 It was supposed to look like this:

But I wanted to make it without the pink tippets or the rows of tedious buttons. Tippets are the  funky sleeve things she has on them, and I have no patience for that kind of thing. Seriously, it would take a while.  Those take more precision. Aaaand the buttons are very tedious work to sew on as well as to button up when I wear the dress.

I  asked my mother, who has made one before, how I should go about doing it. She said "make it in panels," so I thought, okay...  make the skirt in panels and make the top with panels, too, so that it looks cool.


I realized about halfway through that it was not what my mother meant at all. She meant make the entire front one or two panels, and each side is a panel and the back is one or two panels. Oops. well, you have to learn sometime and you have to get things wrong to figure out how to do it right.



So, long story short it is NOT this dress, which I think is gorgeous, but it is The Disaster.

I made the brilliant decision to make the dress with no pattern, no pins, and no measurements. And with a fabric that shows every darn wrinkle... So The Disaster was born. It took me hours and I did the skirt and top separately. So far so good. Then I tried to stitch them together and add sleeves. Sleeve attachment is kind of really hard...

So THIS is The Disaster.

Note that all wrinkles are visible and every mis-stitch is in your face. It was not very exciting I am also making a frustrated face because I KNOW it looks like the kind of thing you give a kid for dressup when you know they are not leaving the house.

Or perhaps it is the dress you let them play with and tell them that it sucks. Any way you put it, even ironed out it was bad...




So, after failing, I had my moment of despair where nothings feels right and I thought I couldn't do it and I was frustrated beyound all belief. And went to bed.

The next day I felt a little better. But at the same time not because I had made myself sick with upset-ness. It was the morning of the dance and I had nothing to wear. So after taking a deep breath, making a smoothie, and looking online, I decided to try again.

I purchased some red suede at a cheap price, as well as some pins and a measuring tape (which helped IMMENSELY, and I cannot figure out why I was so foolish to try it without either). I ate a small breakfast and got to work.

It took me five hours of constant effort to get this done, but when I was done I was very pleased.

This picture was taken, of course, after the dance when I had taken off all of my jewelry and the jingly belt I was wearing.  The belt helped, really. It made it look better at my waist. Okay, at least I think so. The trim on the sleeves are a little off and they were weird. Yes, they are bell sleeves, but I like bell sleeves better than close sleeves. As for the off-ness: I notice, but everyone else said that you cannot notice.... I really really do notice. And the hem at the bottom is crooked, but with a long dress like this it is harder to tell that the length near the floor is uneven.

The dress was a hit at the dance. Everyone was really happy with it and were all "You MADE this?!" and Japanese students kept saying "sugoi," which means "cool," or "amazing" in Japanese. I was amused. I don't think it is praiseworthy, myself. It looks like a shift with bell sleeves, but looks a lot closer to what it was intended to look like! And (from when I started measuring to when the dress was finished) it only took me five hours. All in one continuous block.


Now that I have ventured somewhat into clothing, my friends want me to help make them costumes for an anime convention coming up. I hope I will be able to have fun and not die of everything... Yes. I hope those clothes will turn out better. I am no great seamstress.

However, I think that I will not make clothing as a career path. I will stick to my jewelry and being a basket case.

My Business Has A Blog!

Now my business - Picpic Tewlikitpe - now has its own blog!

http://picpictewlikitpe.blogspot.com

Check it out!

In the meantime, I have been trying to do thesis stuff and failing.
Trying to be healthier and vaguely failing.
Trying to not do my homework and succeeding.

This is my 50th Post.

And she begins a bit of a quest

With my wedding six months away (almost literally) I am trying really hard to get in shape. I was doing well and losing weight until recently and I think my bout with stomach issues may be partially to blame because it has made me just lay around. Not that I am that active in my daily life...

I found out I have (most likely) pre-ulcer perforation to my stomach lining, which means that I need to stress less and eat less acidic foods, chocolate, and citrus and I need to stay away from caffine. Yeah, I haven't been very good at that so far. I also got blood drawn to make sure it isn't some kind of bowel rot (wtf?!) and to check and see how hypoglycemic I may be and see if there is a chance of diabetes. So yay. It wasn't as bad as I thought having my blood drawn but every time she slightly moved the needle to change vials it hurt more. Josh was there to hold my hand because I am kind of a pathetic wimp when it comes to needles in general and I always hate the idea of blood leaving my body. It belongs in there, yo! And those of you who have had blood tests and whatnot frequently have no sympathy, but that is okay because it was mostly fear of having it drawn the first time.

So the quest for health involves the usual exercise, eating better, etc. This will help my weight which will help general health, and help my body deal with things better. I will be exercising for at least an hour on Tuesday and Thursday nights after work, and eating better.

Starting today I will be logging my food (though not on here). Dinner was honey-raspberry chicken (made with grenadine because we lacked raspberry syrup), and fried potatoes of two varieties (Yukon Gold and Sweet Potatoes). I will probably be naughty before bed, though, because there is iced cream that has been calling my name all day. Maybe, maybe not.

Right now a paper is kicking my ass. I got an extension on it for my medical condition but it is still obnoxious. Especially since I lack some of the information and understanding, it is difficult to write. And I keep getting distracted! Grr. Oh well, at least I am getting it partway done.

Off to do the paper!

Semester, Ho!

So this is the second Friday of the new semester. It is 9:30 at the start of this entry and I have already taken a short test and been at work for an hour. I am getting used to shifting my days from 10am - 1am/2am to being from 7am-midnight/11pm. Yep, I have been whining about it all over facebook. Oh, the first number is the wakeup time, and the second is the bedtime. As you can see, I am going to bed ridiculously early these days. But without sleep I can be kind of frightening.

In other news, the term has been going pretty good so far. I am only taking three classes but am more than making up for it in work. My days all start with class or work at 8am, then continue until work ends between 5pm and 6pm.

I am taking Environmental Chemistry with a fun professor, Medieval Intellectual History (which is a blast, the prof is wonderfully crazy) and my Senior Seminar wherein I am poked to actually do my thesis.

Which is not going well. I still have yet to do my 10 interviews. Hadn't thought of doing phone interviews (was suggested by my adviser at the last meeting) but may have to for a few. But elders tend to no like the phones and prefer to speak in person. This will be difficult. Especially with teh broken car.

Looking for a new one (car not thesis), now, but it will only be new to us and Josh is dead-set on getting one from the 80s or 90s because he says "they are just better cars." I say they are just old as dust and thus are dirt cheap. Someday I would like a car that is less than half my age. (Current car is going on 17 because it is a 94 and cars are dated a year ahead making it made in 93. I am far less than twice that age.) I would also like a car that doesn't turn into "that car you had... you know, that kept falling apart?" Though it has given me fun memories, I need a new car.

There have already been fun events, especially with my friends here at WU. I am a bit sad because it is becoming more and more clear that Gradution (which they call "Commencement" at this level) is not a myth and is actually sneaking up on us. Which means we will disperse to the winds and be blown apart. Possibly as far apart as US and Japan, or just across the US. It is damn hard to cross the US, though. We will reconvene for the wedding, but I have a feeling it will not be the same. We will still be friends who call at odd hours to say "hi" and just to chat or whine or cry. We will probably still be able to talk for hours via any possible mode of conversation, be it incredibly long emails, phone calls, Facebook messages or IM chats. Whatever is chosen will not be brief due to the separation. Perhaps one of us will forget to speak English otherwise. Haahaa.

So other than that depressing note that keeps coming back, there have been dinners and parties and chill-outs. We went to Kyoto restaurant for Josh and my 6-year anniversary recently. It was fun! It cost a lot of money, but I had set aside that money for the anniversary and was not upset when most of it was spent. I dressed up and got a bit of a backhanded compliment and insult at the same time. "Can't you just do this everyday?" In reference to the fact that I was dressed up, made up, and was not wearing my rainshoes. I could stand to dress better but at this point I don't care because I am not looking for a job, trying to impress anyone, or anything like that. And I like sleep and do not want to trade it for time in front of the mirror putting chemicals and minerals all over my face and messing with my hair. I reserve the messing with things for special occassions. I guess I am just an oddball who really just doesn't care. Oops, I guess. It was still fun.

We are running around like crazy getting stuff done for the NAEA culture night and the Powwow coming up this term. Six weeks to Powwow! That is a terrifying thought, no? I am really excited! :)

Oh, my sister is gonna have a baby. She is married so none of us are surprised. Another sister has moved out from home and is living her own life. That leaves two sisters and a brother back home. The eldest sister at home is in High school and is about to branch out on her own, except she may be a homebody and not branch out far. I only branched out an hour, so it is okay. The baby sister and my only brother (the baby of the bunch) are still in gradeschool, so they have some time to spend at home. Mamma will end up with Empty Nest syndrome in about 10 years, maybe less. She likes to take care of people, hence being a nurse.

I guess I should be working on my thesis... or something productive, but I really don't want to. I am liking chilling right now and typing...

Countdowns:
Till WU's Culture Night - 3.5 weeks
Till WU's Powwow - six weeks
Till Commencement - about 15 weeks (about 3.5/4 months)
Till Wedding - 6 months (from last Tuesday)

Wedding updates:
[X] Find the guy, get in a relationship with him
[X] Get engaged (ask him if he takes too long)
[X] Pick a date
[X] Pick a place
[X] Pick bridesmaids/maid of honor (opted out of maid of honor)
[X] Pick groomsmen/best man (opted out of best man)
[X] Pick Flower child(ren)
[ ] Pick ring bearer(s)
[X] Pick theme and colours
[/] Decide on Guest List (need to double-check)
[X] Save-the-dates Being made, send out Jan 15th.
[ ] Pick decour
[ ] Send Invites and RSVPs
[/] Pick food, cake, etc.
[X] Dress
[ ] Everyone else in the wedding party's clothes Ideas on Facebook
[X] Get $ and plan for honeymoon
[ ] Plan the ceremony (writing our own)
[ ] Get married
[ ] Have a reception
[ ] go on honeymoon
[ ] Make sure everyone realizes a marriage is a gift from Him between two souls and a paper doesn't mean anything, but now we have one anyway. A wedding does not equate to a marriage.
[ ] Come back
[ ] Resume life

Okay, so things are happening fast! I guess I should start working, huh?
Off I go! (to class, haahaa)

~N

Starting the last term!

WELL! The break has been relatively eventful, with socialness, parties, and then being sick for four out of the first seven days of the year. That wasn't fun, especially since my schedule was flipped backwards and I was a complete night owl and completely awake at 4am, but getting up before 7am wasn't working. So, in other words, stress and socialness caused sickness. That and too much sweet and not enough good for me foods. What sucks is that I didn't get the money for those days, because I was not working. Really obnoxious! Hopefully Josh will have a job soon and I won't have to work too much, esp now that I am working on my thesis!

Which reminds me, I just checked out about 10 books to read over the next two weeks, as well as getting in contact with a bunch of storytellers (who are, incidentally, really cool amazing people) and get them to agree to being interviewed and recorded for the sake of my thesis project. Still reading up on ethnographic research first.

So I have been working on my thesis, wedding plans, and at my job. I will be having class at 8am four out of five days a week. I am thinking of working at 8am on the off day so that I am getting up at the same time every day. Then again, sleeping in would be nice.

My current job is not too bad. I am working on scanning right now, which is my job TTh for today and the next week. MWF I am back at Webdev where I should probably establish my hours for once school starts. I should also contact my other boss, too. Three jobs aren't too bad, so I think I will be okay.

I have been getting wrapped up in Piers Anthony books, since I was given some by my father. I want to know why books tend to get harder to put down the closer you get to the end. Because I really had to go to bed and it was really hard to put down the book. As a result, I am a little overtired today, but hey, I was interested. I have a few more pages left, so I want to finish it tonight. Problem is, then I have no more for-fun reading material and that means that I will have to work on thesis stuff (which I have been neglecting).

Classes start in just over a week and I am definitely anxious, since I don't know two of my professors and they are rumored to be difficult. I am really excited for my Medieval Intellectual History class, but I am not too excited for my 8am Environmental Chemistry class. Chem? First thing in the morning? And I have to pay attention? And I live off campus? It was hard when I was ON campus... *sigh* Oh well.

Okay, on to work!
~N

Obligatory Post of Beginning-of-the-year-ness

In other words, Happy New Year, and I am blogging. Yes, the blog is late, but that is okay.

Well, for New Year's Eve (hereafter known as NYE in this post) I spent it at home with friends. I had hoped others would be there, but they were home with their own families which is completely understandable. We don't have cable at my house so there was no countdown, only a phone alarm going off and us celebrating. Of course my first kiss of the New Year was my Fiance. We drank Sparkling Apple Cider and Sparkling Apple-Pomegranate Cider (which was absolutely tasty!) and had an Indian Taco dinner! That was a lot of fun. :)

My friend Lys brought poppers, which were too many for the six of us to set off, so we shared with other apartment-dwellers. It makes me sad that the beginning of the New Year, aka NYE, is the last time I get to see one of my friends for months. Kind of sucks, but at least we will see each other again! Some neighbors were lighting off the fun, gorgeous but unfortunately illegal fireworks they smuggled from somewhere. They almost lit a tree on fire, thank goodness it was wet outside (but not raining). The fireworks were pretty and I couldn't help but shout everytime and cheer. Did I mention I love fireworks?

My NYR (New Year's Resolution) is to try and get my business off the ground, which is hard considering the recesssion. By the way, according to the people who pay out for SSI and Disabilities, there is no recession, and there has been no inflation in the last year. That is a load of bullshit. I found out from a friend who has family with SSI. Sad! But nonetheless I can be hopeful! Basketry is not too common (in fact, I am one of the maybe two who do it on etsy.com) You can always help me out there, if you decide to spend the money. According to people I know I sell them cheap, but it seems like an awful lot to me.

To look at my art: http://picpic-tewlikitpe.deviantart.com
To buy my art: http://picpictewlikitpe.etsy.com

Maybe I will get on here more often in the new year. I don't know though, since I will be graduating this year... which is kind of scary. 2010 seemed so far away when I got here, and time spent with friends made it go by all too fast. Why can't it be like Elementary School and take forever? Seriously.

In wedding news, we have a place, a date, a time, a dress (for me), and a color scheme. Well, a dual-color-scheme.

And I should go back to doing my job...

~N